


Jorgen Von Slam Poetry: Rise of Da Rulez

by Calicornia



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, One Piece, Steven Universe (Cartoon), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22164847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: Someone's broken da rulez. Jorgen's here to punish them ;)
Kudos: 1





	Jorgen Von Slam Poetry: Rise of Da Rulez

"Hajime Hajime!" Komaeda screamed ontop of the building, the slam poetry building: Slam Peotry Building. "Snajime on this cockjime!"

"Who let this guy in?" Hajime asked Rohan, the man with the yellow hat! No, not that one, the other one.

Luffy from One Piece was on the cross. Nailed from hand and foot, he was hanging above the sign. It's okay, he's made gum.

"Yo ho ho, he took a bite of gum-gum!" The Romans yelled in Luffy's mind, it was the day before his crucifixtion.

Forgot to mention that it's the past now.

The primitive Komaedas ran around naked, their cockjimes flapped in the wind.

The wind of the Romans coming to crucify Luffy. Zoro would've come to his rescue, but he was too busy coming in that worm coochie!

The Romans caught up to Luffy, now here we are in the future. Luffy was still on the cross. 

A voice came from the alley just as Zoro came in the coochie.

"It's been 4,096 years, Rohan Kishibe."

"Are those French years or American years?" Rohan asked nobody, nobody has entered the chat.

"This is Coochie standard time, Kishibe."

"I guess we're gonna find out who killed the cyclops."

Out came a pink man, with tire tracks all over his body.

"Anything to prevent getting run the fuck over again."

It was Lars, Anasui standing behind him. 

Rohan was taken aback, the comedy stopped. So did the poetry.

"Meet my stand, Lana Del Sui!" Lars pointed to the mangaka before him.

"ANASUI ANASUI!" Anasui ran towards Rohan, his fists in hands. His hands in fists. He breathed in the ash and dust.

Rohan wiped his brow.

Lars sweat his rust.

A fist collided with Rohan's shitty music. The Mistafits fell to the ground, the music stopped too. Both the Guido and the Mista got a dose of chemical X.

Also known as Chemical Anasui!

They were radioactive. Radioactive.

"Oh woah oh woah oh!" Yelled Mista as he writhed in pain, "Radioactive!"

"Now what in the darn tootin' shootin' bootin' kaboosin' booty lickin' bootbarn wearnin' Kentucky Fried Fuck is goin' on in this slam poetry meetin'?" Gyro gyrated his steel balls between Rohan and Lars. His steel balls clacked, his real balls sacked, but most important, Jotaro's ass was a snack.

"Gyro, that's the guy I played Just Dance back when I had legs!" Johnny crawled over, "Also when I had Xbox Live, and which miraculously ladybugged of through mysterious circumcision!"

"Johnny, you still got your foreskin..." Gyro pulled out a bag of Johnny's shed penis flesh. Good ol' penis flesh!

"If only I knew what it was like to have foreskin!" Lars screamed, he punched and kicked against Gyro, the bag falling to the cold concrete floor. The penis flesh flapped in the bag.

"No Johnny he's gonna take yer foreskin!"

"OOOOOOUUUUUWWWWWWAAAAAAAAA!" 

Lars picked the foreskin up with his left hand (that's important) and unzipped his pants with his right (that's also important) and stuffed the foreskin in his pants.

"OH NO!" Luffy cried from the cross, even his gum-gum couldn't save him. "LARS, DON'T DO IT! I CAN LIFT YOU UP!"

Lars chuckled as his penis was restored.

"This isn't even my final form!"

Lars became his final form, his foreskin stretched over his whole body.

Penis Ascension Lars, his foreskin sentient.

"Inside here, I know I'll be safe and sound!"

A large figure came up the mountain. It wasn't Markiplier, he was passed at the Freddy Fazbear Fuckhouse. Stomping noises filled the sound barrier, which was broken by a scream.

"HAJIME!!!! SMAJIME!!!! THEY'VE COME, AND IT HASN'T BEEN SIX WEEKS!" Komaeda jumped into the pudding, it splashed his emeralds, just like cum.

A biiiig peepee swung, attached to the massive figure it was. It was at least as tall as Lars was. Which, isn't that in retrospect.

"WHO IS BREAKING DA RULEZ *Arnold noises*" A voice boomed.

Komaeda's fresh balls zoomed out of there. Zoomba classes aren't cheap. ROOMBA!

"LUFFY!" Jorgen Von Poetry Slam Strangle turned to his victim, who was also breakin' da rulez. "I sentence you to five glimpses into your inner psyche."

Luffy was now. Luffy.

"OOOOOOOUUUUUUYUYUYUYUWAAAA!"

Jorgen turned his head, his penis swung. Even further beyond plus ultra, his penis was controlled by his mind.

Johnny held Gyro's foreskin, it was all that was left of Gyro's penis. 

"Johnny..." Gyro coughed, I need your penis Johnny!"

"But Gyro, you already got a dick donation! From Chef Boyardee!"

Gyro died of dysentery.

"Heh, nobody's died of dysentery in awhile." Lars chuckled, his emeralds shining. His chaos emeralds.

"YOU MAY HAVE THE CHAOS EMERALDS, BUT I GOT THE YUME NIKKI EMERALD! THE MASTER EMERALD!"

Here comes Jorgen, in control. Bug bites surrounding his asshole. It made Johnny's dick tickle, but his foreskin, was numb.

"WE CAN'T MAKE POETRY LIKE THIS! ASSHOLE AND TICKLE DON'T EVEN RHYME!" Jorgen screamed, his rule book coming down from the sky.

The poetry rule book, time to get poetry slammed, Lars.

"I think this is where we end it." Anasui said.


End file.
